I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
