What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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