But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
