she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
