I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This toilet bowl is my home.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize