stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Vodka?
Forever.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
