This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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