I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
