Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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