Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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