Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
is it fun? or sober?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
