By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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