Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
