im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
