If i come over, it means nothing
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
