So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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