Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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