she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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