why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
last night I used snow as a chaser
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
