what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
