Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
There's even glitter on my cock...
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