Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
