I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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