She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
