well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
