Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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