I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
