in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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