we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it because I queefed?
Come see our sink grown plant.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
