OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
