marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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