She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
