So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize