I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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