I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
