It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm always down for nudity.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
