needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
