I need help removing her.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
