This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
