Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
