Kiss
Puke
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
