where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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