Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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