if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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