You were right. It hurts to walk today.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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