the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
