we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
