considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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