and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
