He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
