The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
