she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
