I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize