I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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