BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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