evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
