The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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