What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
