He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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