I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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