this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
