Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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