I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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