On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
