i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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