it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
