Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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