drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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