If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He? As in you personified your dick?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
God I need to hump something, right now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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