I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
