am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
